The Weekend

Hola!

Friday. More of the usual in the office place. At lunch I explained how the American school systems work to Rachel. Poor Chu Ke had to sit the sidelines and not understand what was going on in our conversation. Welcome to the club, my man!

The colleges here are crazy. We're accustomed to all of our buildings being on the same campus. Business school in one section, engineering buildings on the other side of campus, that sort of thing. Well, here they have the Beijing University of Railway Sciences. One building, all railway science majors take their classes there. Halfway across town they have their Beijing University of Communications. They have a school for everything. Chinese Academy for Social Sciences, Beijing Economic Science College, Beijing Institute of Civil Engineering & Architecture and Beijing School of Extraterrestrial Sciences (I made one of those up).

I was told its very easy to get into these schools but hard to graduate, or something like that. I also had to explain the SAT and application process. Rachel had 5 years of elementary school, 3 years fr intermediate, 3 for high school, 4 years in college and then another 4 for her Master's. She was shocked and looked disappointed when I told her grad school isn't always that long in the US.

*Back Info* I work in the Beijing Global Trade Center. Its a plaza of 5 or so buildings that are all connected underground via parking garages and underground levels that contain salons, shops, cafeterias and people handing out fliers that I can never read. One of the ground floors of on building houses a supermarket and a movie theater.

Rachel & Chu Ke walk me to the movie theater. To get there I must plummet to the depths of Hades, slay a few minions, wind my way through a labyrinth and scale a mountain. This movie theater shows movies in English (for about twice the price of their Chinese counterparts), but here is the kicker- those movies they show in English are listed on the marquee in Chinese characters with (英文) (ying (spoken like e'ng) wen). That tells me that whatever-movie-title-I-can't-read is aired in English. That's going above and beyond. I picked Toy Story 3 out of the line up because it read "(a whole mess of characters I dont know) 3." At least numbers are universal.

Friday night was the last night for a group of fellow Aggies that had been studying over here. Cheng & I decided to tag up with them. I know two of these guys from school. One from Chinese class; one because he sat in front of me in a class with a Rockets hat on. Anywho, we tag up with them in the SOHO district in front of the Hooters in Beijing. That took some work to find. It involved Google Maps showing me two results on opposite ends of a block and me having to cross list that with the Hooters website. The website revealed there was only one Hooters in Beijing (Cheng & I were real curious whether they'd be more or less "conservative" in this country- we never found out).

All in all it was probably a 20 minute process to think through it all. May seem simple, but taxi drivers dont seem to know this city so well. Its baffling. We met the group of 20+ in front of Hooters, introduced ourselves then trekked "over the [highway] and through the [smog], to [some hole in the wall bar we go]..." Everyone in the group (minus Cheng & myself) were all dolled up. We ended up in a bar that wasn't tall enough for some of the 6'3" to stand up straight. It had a back room that had no lights and surely disease-ridden couches. I deemed it the SARS room. I figured 10 days was too long in China without a SARS joke. The timing for a foot binding joke has yet to come.

The "bathroom" door had a PG-13 painting on it. And since this is to be nearly suitable for all ages I will refrain from sharing, but some of the girls were moderately (or at least feigned being) offended. I witnessed my first public Chinese bathroom. I took a picture on my phone, but as I write this I have no way of uploading the picture to my computer. The "toilet" is a poreclain hole in the ground. It flushes and all, but there's no meeting halfway. Just a whole lot of squatting or good aim involved. I would imagine alcohol+hole in the ground toilet= the only idea worse than the creation of the Snuggie.

As we were standing in front of this bathroom (because it was cooler, less crowded and the "smog & smoke to oxgyen ratio" was better) we witnessed a little 4 year old and his mother walk in the bathroom. The hole in the ground was little more than a foot inside the doorway. We almost witnessed the creation of the Chinese Michael Phelps but his mom withheld him from diving in...

We meandered in the street for awhile. There were booths set up all selling cigarettes, cigars, lighters and one even had "good condom." There were little stands selling Mystery Meat Kabobs and other tents housing drink coolers and ice cream freezers. I bought myself a little chocolate ice cream cone as we wandered in circles between Pure Girl (It was only a bar, though I didn't venture upstairs...), our first hole in the wall bar and a tv out in the street around the locals.

For some reason vehicles had the bright idea to come driving through this alleyway. Some of them parted the crowd like it was the Red Sea. Others simply laid on the horns until everyones ears bled and were forced to move. At one point a BMW with red & blue cop lights in the grill came hood to hood with another vehicle. Neither one moved. We were told the BMW wasn't a cop- that's a felony, Bub.

I left my ice cream wrapper on top of a van that decided to drudge through. That will show him. Our final stop as a group was a Chinese club named Mix. It was just like an American one. Loud music and crowded. My favorite part was the bubble machine on stage. Nice touch. The DJ played 100% Grade A United States Music. It was hilarious when he would suddenly drop the volume down so that the crowd would shout the words- but the crowd was 94.6% Chinese people that didn't know the words. Therefore, it left our group or 20 and a few other English speakers in the building to shout the words.

A few times the Chinese guys next to me began imitading the words being said with similar caveman like sounds. I needed a video camera. I'm fairly certain at one point a guy tried to solicit me a prostitute. Flattering. But no. I made it a point to dance with as many Chinese girls as I could. Especially once I saw one in a cowboy hat. Hindsight, being 20/20 as it always is, that was a good way for me to get stabbed.

Cheng & I left around 1. My dinner had consisted of an ice cream cone, his of 2 beers. So we stopped at the only open thing we knew of.... KFC. Well, I was told to try the popcorn chicken- but funny thing they weren't serving chicken any longer. Hmm? We ventured over to McDonald's but it is safe to say that the Mickey D's here is worse than any Mickey Ds I've had before. It did not bode well with my system. Last time I have that whilst living here.

Saturday we planned to visit Tian'anmen Square but we waived that idea once we got in late on Friday night. Instead we paid the Silk Alley Market a visit. I don't even know where to begin. Its not at all an Alley, its a 6 story tall building housing all sorts and forms of pirated merchandise and knock-off look a likes. Bags, shoes, hats, watches, jewelry, sunglasses, jeans, button ups, cashmere sweaters, toys, electronics, children and luggage.

Being the white-skinned guy the asking prices automatically grow exponentially. Cheng & I's first line of business was watches. We browsed the ever-ending booths of watches. Rolex, Casio, Tag Huer, Brettling Bentley, Cartier, etc. Heckles galore "You like?" "What you want to buy?" "You like Rolex?" "My friend, come look! Amigo! Amigo!" I kept giving the same lines "Bu yao (I don't want)" or "Zhi kan kan (Just looking)." I finally stopped at one booth (Disclaimer: there is nothing polite about the majority of these people) and began looking through the briefcases of watches.

Stumbled upon 2 different "Rolex"s that caught my eye. Going back and forth between the two I asked the lady how much, she punched 380 into a calculator (about $55 US). I put it down and began to walk away. She called my back and punched in "180." I said "Tai gui! (Too expensive!)" and typed 30 into the calculator (less than $5 US). She snarled and punched in 100. I said 50. She said 90. We eventually settled on 75 (just over $10 US). I actually only had 72 in small bills, she wanted to break my 100, i told her I didnt have one- so I got the watch for 72. She took 2 links out, handed me the watch, took my money and I walked off having paid her 20% of what she wanted it for. I still probably got the short end, but $10 on a ticking "Rolex?" Sure.

My following purchases include a pair of "Ray-Bans" for less than $5 US and a conical rice field hat for less than $3 US. It started off fun, haggling and all. But it became very taxing and the people were very invasive (says the guy that has no personal bubble). Grabbing, groping, tugging, pulling, yelling, hassling. At one point a girl had 2 hands on my wrist and was trying to pull me off of my feet. Her shop owner stepped in between us to hassle me a little more and I was pulled onto her foot. I stepped on her foot, she began htting me and calling me all sorts of dirty names (I imagine) while a man in the booth just smiled in delight. I considered just dragging the girl with me but she eventually let go. We ended up spending 4 or 5 hours carrusing the thousands of stalls.

Because of the Air Canada tag on my backpack everyone kept asking me about Canada. Not sure if Canada was too close to the US for their taste I began telling people I was French. I was shocked when some of the people began speaking spanish "Amigo! Amigo! Mira! Mira! (Look! Look!)" But when I tried to take it a step further, nobody understood me.

We ended up home exhausted, looking forward to bed when it dawned on us that the USA game would be on at 2:30am. I took a 2 1/2 nap and my dreams were endless stalls and more bargaining. Even dreaming of it was exhausting. It was our luck that the game went into Extra Time. We had been looking forward to the 4 o'clock bedtime. Instead we got in closer to 5.

Sunday we had intended to go to church, but the 5 o'clock bedtime nixed that. We spent the day Sunday sitting on the couch resting our feet and catching up on old TV Shows. We ate a very big lunch (everything is beginning to taste the same) and for dinner we went to the supermarket to see what we could find. My little taste of home came in the form of Skippy Peanut Butter (Though Mom's like mine choose JIF), Honey, bread (the only label of which was in English was Bimbo brand bread. Excellent choice) and bananas. My peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich was the cleansing of my palette.

Late, around 9, a maintenance man came to put an end to the tremendous back flow emitting from our showerhead/hose. We've had to call them a few times. Leaky sink pipes, A/C units that wouldn't cool and to get the internet activated (we only have it in one room). Our bathroom has 2 little decorative drainage holes in the floor that really stunk something awful at the beginning of our stay. We have since dropped 2 rubber mats over the top of each and treat them like Hiroshima & Nagasaki with Febreeze being our A-bomb.

Epilogue:

Just finished Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five. Strange book. This Thrusday I'll be going to the factory with Cheng so that I can play basketball with him and all the engineers afterwards. The factory is at least 45 minutes from my office and if the taxi driver has no idea how to get there. I have no idea how to tell him to get there.

I'm hoping to get a haircut soon. Cheng said it was a struggle to communicate what he wanted to the people. I might just hit up the salon here in this plaza if I can find it. I have no idea how to communicate anything I want done and those that know me know how I am with my hair. I've loosened up a little, but I'm afraid the language barrier might be rough.

Please Reserve Resources, and Save Paper!

Looking Back on the Week

Gutentag! (Ni hao gets so redundant around here)

I'm mentally revisiting the past fews days as I type, so there will probably be some disconnected thoughts here. I also don't remember if there has been any truly noteworthy happenings, but I can embellish with the best.

MONDAY:

This night was probably like most nights. It consisted of me getting home from work 45 or so minutes before Cheng. I change out of my, now sweaty, work clothes, sitting on the couch and cracking open a bowlful of pistachios as I watch an episode of something saved to my hard drive.

Right now I'm working on the no-longer-existent tv show entitled The Unit. Army special forces unit. Decent acting and subpar writing, but it doesn't involve me thinking through any run-on sentences or sorting through some non-sensical indrusty babble.

Cheng gets home and we play the "Where do you want to eat tonight, Honey?" game. That goes back and forth a little bit until we decide to just wander. We find a Japanese restaurant. An odd sight to see considering annually there are anti-Japanese demonstrations where the locals run through the streets destroying Hondas and Toyotas. Cheng wants to go there, of course. I'm waiting for someone to pitch a brick through the window at the American. 2 birds with one stone.

We each order some fried rice. Mine, "Japanese Fried Rice" his, "Eel Fried Rice." I guess that makes mine mystery meat. Its enjoyable, though the complimentary tea tastes like barley. I'm not a huge fan, but they don't give refills on the good drinks so I'm dealing with what I've got. Cheng has reached the hypothesis that Chinese people don't typically drink anything with their meals because they end up slurp down soup as if its a beverage anyways. I like my drinks cold. The food was good though and there were no bricks involved. All in all a success.

We walk across the street to find some rice puff snack we had when we met Fella the other day. We found what we believed to be it... so we bought 4 bags. We get home only to discover this is not it at all. We picked up a corn puff (like Kix cereal) that is seasoned with a sweet garlic powder. No thanks. Anybody care for 3 bags of this stuff? The rest of the night entailed watching 1 1/2 world cup games then hittin the hay.

TUESDAY:

Ugg. Oh, I decided finally that I was tired of sweating in slacks so I decided to wear jeans and mix things up a little. Well, I got to work and had been sitting at my desk editing for a few hours, when the Big Boss walks past. I give him a wave and he starts spittin off Chinese 100 miles a minute. Eventually the girl in front of me pops up, eyes me up and down and gets to talking with the boss. When this happens I typically smile and nod. They continue to talk about me, I continue to not understand. Eventually the boss walks over and Florence says to me that I'm going to be sitting in an investors meeting, but the boss was concerned about my "t-shirt". It was a short sleeve, casual, button-up.

Regardless, I sit in on the meeting. A 6'3" white guy from New York (I know he gets funny looks) and a man from Hong Kong. Can I call them Chinese? Or is he a Hong Kongian? Sorry.

The white guy "takes" the business card instead of "receiving" it. Taking is what us Americans do when someone hands us something- a one handed pull. Receiving is what the Chinese do. Humbly having the article bestowed upon both of their hands. They sit across the table from one another. I'm 2 seats removed from the action and holding my breath as to avoid being a disturbance.

The agent representing the hedge market firm in NYC plays 20 Questions with the Big Boss. The questions he asks contain sardonic undertones and incorporate a sly, slight grin. Its interesting to see. Probably 30 to 45 minutes into this the BIg Boss begans thumbing through text messages. I find that to be strange. At some point the agent has to repeat a question because the boss wasn't paying attention. I found that to be odd when you have a man sitting across the table wanting to throw money at you. Finally, the Big Boss says he's got to wrap it up to get to another meeting.

Florence and I take the investment agents downstairs to lunch. This building has more dining rooms than the Gulf has gallons of oil. I see a new one everyday. Anywho, I can tell that it's going to be an awkward lunch if I don't start rambling. Eventually "Daniel", the giant amongst little people, begins to warm up to the same idea. We begin to chat. He's from Jersey. We talk colleges, sports, education, business. By the time its over I feel like I've done a little good.

Coincidentally, I took part in this meeting after reading an article online discussing the Chinese business paying White people to dress up and sit in on meetings or go to workshops in order to display a "international" feel. Oh the irony. Except I wasn't dressed up and I dont know if I'm getting paid... Sounds like I'm getting a raw deal.

Afternoon was pretty dull. I stuff into a bus, get home, change clothes and decide I need to get some exercise. I start doing stair runs. It wasn't long before I think I began to cough up smog. I run up to the 14th floor and begin to do pushups on each step (a declined position, each step a varying degree of declination). I make it down to the 11th floor. The staircase is filthy, as I expected it to be. I ran back down, caught a strange glance from a woman standing at the door downstairs, run back up to the 7th floor (my floor) and call it quits.

Cheng gets home. More dinner indecisions which leads to aimless wondering. We meander over to a restaurant that happens to serve donkey meat stir fry and "dog meet" as well. Chicken please! Pit stop at the supermarket on the way home. Cheng wants some beer, I want those rice puff snack things. I find a bag which I think might be it. I decided it might be best to only purchase one. We step outside, I crack it open. Wrong again! These were much better than the first failed attempt. It was Smacks cereal (the box with the Frog on it; carmalized looking rice puffs. Nothing in them but air). World Cup and sleep ensues.

WEDNESDAY

The morning starts off typically. Cheerios and skype with Mom or Aunt Connie. As I'm standing at the bus stop I hear a shriek from the taxi lane behind me. Casually I wheel around to see that someone has finally (I say that like I was looking forward to it) been hit by a car. Well, partially run over.

Girl A hops out of her...Ford (only Ford I've seen in this country is of course involved in the only traffic incident I've seen) runs over to the other side of the car and is coddling Girl B. Girl A helps Girl B up, Girl B continues to look under the tire and she's hobbling around. Girl A sets Girl B into the passenger side of the car, runs around to the driver side, rolls forward, hops back out, runs around to the passanger side and picks up a flip flop from where the tire was.

How the flip-flop was still there and the foot wasn't, I can't say. Girl B's foot is probably either broken or the gal deserves an Oscar. I heard that if you get hit by a car here you stay down in front of it and they will throw money at you to make the problem go away. Girl B didn't get that memo. They drive away I get on my bus and I realize that I guess these drivers are only human. No matter how wild and crazy they all get, things happen. I had been waiting on that for a week now- I'm somewhat happy I finally saw it.

One of the guy's I converse with felt obligated to share with me 2 episodes of his 2nd favorite show, "The IT Crowd" (he works in the IT department). I didn't really how to tell the guy "Sorry bud, that really doesn't appeal to me" in Chinese. He gave me two episodes and said "I give you two. If you like, you tell me and I give you rest." You got it, dude. His first favorite show is Battlestar Galactica. This is the same guy that loves NASCAR. Chu Ke, you are a very eclectic individual.

Work wrapped up. Bus. Home. Pistachios. The Unit. "Honey, what's for dinner" game. And the result is the same Japanese restaurant. Cheng is one of those that finds something he likes (music, food, etc.) and eats it or listens to it until he hates it. I get the Eel Fried Rice this time. It was very good. Tasted like snapper. More Barley tea.

We end up getting shoo'ed out of the place. We wonder over to Cafe No. 9 (where we met the 8-fingered Candaian, Fella). We try to convince them to show the USA World Cup game. The fu yuan (server) gives a few excuses. Cheng and I get into a conversation that takes up the entire first half (45 minutes). We ask again if they can change the channel. Neither one of us understood what he said (no surprise that I didn't get it). We have 3 plates of the rice puff things we've been craving. "Ka fei dou" (Coffee ___?___).

We decide to get back to the apartment to catch the tail end of the USA game. We ask for the receipt of our 3 bottles of domestic (here, Yanjing) beer and my cup of tea. RMB113. The equivalent of about $20 US. We are shocked, our dinner was less than that. We ask how it came up that high. The beer was RMB15 (a little over $2 US; 1 bottle in the supermarket costs about 50 cents). Here comes the kicker, and most assuredly my first White-skinned "discount," well, premium. RMB68 for a cup of black tea. Thats $10 USD. "The best tea they have."

It tasted just like brewed Lipton or anything else. I sure hope it helps me grow 2 inches or fills in the patchy spot on my beard. Something to show that this outlandish $10 cup of tea was worth it in some way. We go to pay and the fu yuan tells us 110 will work if we dont have the 3 dollars on us. Gee, thanks Fu Yuan. After a walk full of griping & moaning about the price of that tea we get upstairs. 83rd minute of the Cup game. We're about to give up and go to bed. When we score in the 91st minute we lose it. We run through the apartment screaming our lungs out. Its close to midnight and around 10 is bedtime for most of the people. Whoops. Cheng gets to showering, I fall asleep on the couch. He wakes me up, I shower and go to bed.

THURSDAY

This morning I approached the bus stop as my bus was leaving. I made a step to chase it but an elderly man stepped in the way. I figured he wouldn't appreciate getting bowled over. So I waited. My bus takes its sweet time. I eventually get to work, ride the elevator with a coworker named "Sammy."

She's always got some crazy oufit on. I think she just buys those designer clothes you see on the runway and ask yourself "Why in the world would anyone wear that? Who would buy that?" Sammy will. She works in the Finance department, she says 'You study Accounting?" I say "Shi. Dan shi wo bu xihuan (I do. But I don't like it)." she laughs, compliments me on my Chinese and walks into her office. The girl in front of my desk, Jenny, has been looking at jewelry and hotels online for the last 3 days. The kid to my right sleeps with his head on his desk. Chu Ke reads forums and watches the IT Crowd; yet, this company racks up approx. $6,000,000 USD a year in revenue.

Assorted information:

I have a bus card that I swipe everyday. My 15 minute bus ride costs about RMB .8, which is about 11 Cents USD. Every company/business hires people to do absolutely nothing but collect a check and not cause civil unrest. There's usually 2 or 3 girls congregated in the supermarket aisles.

The buses have bus "conductors" which just point you to empty seats. Every restaurant has someone that stands outside and ushers you in when you approach. There are "security guards" everywhere. Hotels, restaurants, office buildings, malls.

They all dress in various colors of valet uniforms, are 14 years old and stand around. Its amusing. A women sells socks on the footpath that goes over the highway so I can get to my apartment. Socks and chinese fans. McDonalds ice cream cones are all over the place here. When we visited the Bird's Nest, a middle aged man pulled out his video camera to record me walking. I'm going to be a YouTube sensation.

I paid about $22 USD to have laundry done for me. 10 articles of clothing I believe and thats more than I've ever paid in the States. I'd buy an iron, but the only ones I've seen are like RMB1000 which is a little over $100 US.

All the toilet paper and paper towel holders say, in English, "Please reserve resources, and save paper." Guess I need to call ahead next time I want to dry my hands...

C'est la vie!

Craig

Chronicle 6/21/2010

Blue Sky Counter: 2 days

I think I left off mid-day Saturday.

Saturday night, Cheng, Lam, myself and Willy went out to dinner. Lam & Willy are also old friends and wanted to play a little catch up. We went to restaurant called "small fat lamb" for hot pot. It consisted of thinly sliced meat (lamb & beef), shrimp or fish paste (can't say I know how to explain that one), we also had pig's blood tofu (I've eaten worse things... like duck feet) and some leafy greens and mushrooms.

You toss an assortment of those into some boiling oil & it cooks them up real quick. It's yet another traditional Chinese dish. They have more traditions than Texas A&M and I can't say I ever thought I'd say that about anything. After that we meandered on to Lam's hotel to say goodbye for the night.

The weather in the evenings here is excellent, its very dry here and it becomes quite cool when the abusive sun goes down. During the day I sweat quite profusely. Indoors and outdoors. The Chinese don't fancy air conditioners I guess. And they love to drink hot water- I will never figure that one out. And I will never join those ranks.

Sunday, Lam found a church so we all went. It's held in the basement of a large office building basements/ground levels. Basements are about as common as cigarette smoking, spitting, Yao Ming jerseys, bad drivers and chopsticks.

I don't know if I mentioned JUST HOW BAD these drivers are. I witnessed a vehicle make a u-turn from the furthest right lane! The car crossed 3 lanes, in an intersection, at a red light to make a U-turn! It's absolutely unbelievable. Its also common to watch buses turn right on red from the innermost lane. Incredible and hysterical all at the same time. Everyday I get a nice laugh. But I digress...

Church. The church is underneath a large Raycom (?) building. It's the Beijing International Christian Fellowship. You must hold a foreign passport to be admitted. I think it has something to do with registering with the state that bans the locals from attending. There are other churches around for the Chinese. I don't know how to say "Amen" in Chinese, much less anything else. There were a few Scots, Brits, Africans, 2 other Texans, a few more Americans and a smattering of Asians from countries other than China. Every position seems to be volunteer- worship band, audio tech (a generous title), deacon, etc.

The sermon was a hell & brimstone one. Very little teaching and a whole lot of preaching. It was about Lazarus & the rich man. Luke 16:19-31 I do believe. How Christianity has turned into a business in the US and such. He continued to belittle wealth, then took some baby steps backwards from that point too. The youth led worship service was borderline atrocious. The kids lacked timing. The "leader" was probably 15, wholly uncharismatic and completely inarticulate. An occasion or two the pastor had to "translate" for him. The 2 other singers, both girls, lack timing and a feel for the music. Every verse or chorus begins with a nod from the pre-pubescent kid.

The drummer, is very much infatuated with his cymbals and would beat them until the second coming if someone let him. Though worship shouldn't be ridiculed as long as its done with the right heart, this made mine hurt. And I think my ears might have bled once.

Lam left after he showed us how to work the food court next door. We made our way over to the Bird's Nest. The Chinese people love that thing. I guess stadiums aren't exactly a dime a dozen over here like they are back home. It was a neat place and we watched a guy tight rope walk across the roof (or lack thereof). There was definitely a lot of work put into it and now they're milking every dime they can. We even made a few stereotypical jokes about all the pictures of the record breaking athletes on the wall. It's so much fun. Especially when Lam joins in!

Cheng & I watched the World Cup last night in an outdoor cafe with an 8-fingered, Canadian, English & philosophy majored, "freelancing" documentary cameraman for National Geographic and Discovery Channel. He hasn't cut his hair since 1963, he's been to every continent but Antarctica, has lived here 16 years and refuses to learn to say anything more than he believes to be absolutely necessary. His favorite city is Paris, his favorite dish is giraffe meat, he loves that we elected Obama. He also loves walks on the beach, moonlit nights, campfire songs and s'mores. That part was a lie. This part isn't- he requests to be called "Fella." Goodbye! and Good riddance!

Tomorrow I will be bestowed the annual reports from 2007 and 2008. I cannot wait. (ha)I feel the joy exuding from my pores. Lunch time was interesting today though. I saw a plate that I believed to be a pile of chicken in a sauce consisting of chili. I was pretty set on it, did the ol' point and grin. Its gets 'em every time. Picked up my fruits and the only green veggies this country seems to have, shredded spinach (so they call it). I make it to the table, set my try down and realize that what I believed to be a heaping pile of chicken was actually a heaping pile of....tofu!!

Tasteless, slimy and terrible to pick up with chopsticks because it gets cut in half. Thankfully the sauce/oil pool was more than enough to add some flavor to the dish. I actually finished it all, but was very disappointed. I spent a good deal chatting with a fellow employee; he in English, I in Chinese. We make quite a couple. He looks 17, but is 32 and married. He loves NASCAR and can't understand why I don't. As I'm talking about the endless laps they drive and waving a finger in the air in a circular motion, I say "boring," and he now thinks that "boring" and circling a finger through the air are synonymous. Good thing I'm not going into education.

I think we're heading to the markets this weekend. I'm dying to find one of those conical rice field hats! I'm going to wear it everywhere. I even looked up the name for it so I can ask everyone I see. I'm incredibly excited

All my superfluous thoughts as follows:

The Chinese are a pretty rude people (in US standards), but they don't know any better. They love to push and shove. They're polite in speech and in interaction, but they'll run over you as long as they don't think you're a real person. And its not just because I'm white- they do it to one another.

My only attempt at using a public restroom involved being directed down a dark, damp, putrid alleyway. I took 2 steps into, decided I enjoyed my life and all my limbs, turned around and walked out. Everyday this place amazes me.

Chronicle 6/19/2010

I don't quite remember where I left off, so I think I'm just gonna wing it here.

Thursday Cheng missed work. He hopped off on the wrong bus stop, got stranded in the rain without an umbrella and lost his bus card. Great start, but he enjoyed not having to go to work. I, on the other hand, was everywhere I was supposed to be; but by the looks of the natives, I wasn't supposed to be anywhere I was.

I woke up Friday and Skype'd with Stephen. The both of us were shirtless for the duration of the chat, that was minorly strange. Eventually Mom & Connie butted in and we made a conference call out of it. I had to keep the conversation short because I needed to scuddle to the bus stop. Friday was more of the same, but this time I had my laptop with me. I spent time utilizing Skype's chat feature. I was also trying to keep up with the Lakers/Celtics game and I was bummed that I couldn't watch live. It wasn't the same watching the numbers change and I couldn't go running through the hall of the office throwing things in anger when the Lakers won- that was no fun.

I ordered my own lunch Friday. I'm not sure if the guy heard me or just saw me point. I like to think it was my words. 土豆胬肉 tu dou nu rou (potato beef is the literal translation). It was a plate of beef and potatoes, mound of rice and a whole lot of oil. Green food seems hard to come by.


Lam, Cheng's dad, arrived Friday afternoon. He's real good, old friends with the Chairman of the company I'm working for. Mr. Richard is a very, very successful entrepreneur. (I know because I got to look over the financial statements ;) ). They've known one another since 1997. The dinner was very good, roast duck. There was a large lazy susan in the center of the circular table. The whole dinner is full of ceremony. Cheers anytime a member of the party picks up his (alcoholic) drink. Await to be assigned your seat by the host. The lazy susan was decked with a plate of large beans (size of a lima, color of a kidney bean), duck feet (I finally found a food I don't like!), asparagus, a clear tofu like substance over a blue light (symbolic of the water cube) and a Bird's Nest-esque pile of something- I think it was a thin meat (I spend a lot of time eating and very little time asking). I figured the duck feet thing out on my own- wasn't very hard). The duck, kao ya, was the best dish I've had thus far. It had a sauce with it that was incredible. Richard was a real hearty guy. Loud, laughed hard and had a lot of wisdom and experience to share.

When I first used my Chinese he was impressed, then he went on a tear that I didn't understand. Back to the grinning, nodding and saying "Wo ting bu dong" 我听不懂 (I hear but don't understand). I was able to understand what he was saying for the most part. Context clues and body language kept me plugged into the conversation.

He had the waiter pour up a hot wine in a little shot glass, to my chagrin, for everyone. Before the toast the smell of the alcohol reminded me of my oh-so-taxing birthday party and I wanted to gag then and there.

First toast, I took a mouthful of coke (可乐 ke le) then threw it back, followed by a heavy cringe. Everyone else took a healthy sip. Greaaaattttt. This process went on 7 to 10 more times. 1 refill involved, 1 waving off of the waiter and 1 feigned toast. I think the glass was left on the table full. To be fair, it was smooth but the warmth wasn't so appealing. The fact that it reminded me of a night in which I drank far too much just sucked.


Following dinner Cheng & I attempted to catch a taxi to Dong Zhi Men and Guang Hua intersection to tag up a with a few Aggies to watch the USA game with. We got out of the taxi on what was similar to an exit ramp. Dong Zhi Men street and nothing else. We wandered a little and decided we probably wouldn't find the group so we wondered into Chinatown (ha!) to watch the game. The US got scored on and all the locals decided to turn around and look at me as they cheered. Eventually a friend caught the subway near us, we rounded him up & wondered back off to a little restaurant to watch the game. In this establishment, the US scored and everyone cheered along with the 3 of us. I knew I liked that restaurant.

Today, Saturday, Cheng, Lam and I ran around a little bit. Had a good lunch at the spot Cheng & I have frequented 4 or so times. Then Lam brought us to the food courts to show how to work those. Its across the street and underneath the mall. Picking the food, again, involves a lot of pointing- suits me fine. Tonight we are having lamb with Willy, another good friend of Lam's.

Cheng and I are starting to think through the sights around here and beginning to formulate plans.

Here's the random thought/observation section:
I've decided that I might acquire lung cancer in these 2 months. Either from the blanket of smog or all the cigarettes that get chain smoked here. And Mom, if you thought Derek's spitting habit was unsightly, the elderly women here would knock your socks off. It makes me feel like I spit like a little girl.

Cheng witnessed a toddler urinating in the middle of the street as his dad held his hand. Typically, I'd be appalled but the way the streets and drivers are here- if that kid walked off alive I applaud him. Walking through these streets is similar to the 5th level of Frogger... and I only ever made it to level 3. I haven't seen the sun in quite some time. I've seen sunlight, but the smog blots out the sun itself. I think the first thing I want when I get home is a hamburger and a pile of green vegetables. I've never seen so many people in my life.

Craig in China Chronicle 6/17/2010

Hello All!

We just got internet, so I apologize for how long this has taken. I'm not really sure where to start and this will probably turn out to be a smattering of thoughts, so bear with me.

We got here on Tuesday, the airport was crazy and it was a mass exodus. We saw something like 20 hours of daylight on Monday/Tuesday. The whole day was pretty overwhelming- new country, new language, everything is foreign and I wouldn't be getting along well without Cheng. By night time I was ready to get back on a plane and head home.

Woke up on Tuesday, asked God for some serenity and felt significantly better, the rest probably helped too. The food is awesome, I have yet to find something I don't like. Then again, we've been to the same restaurant 4 times and the menu has pictures. I have, however, skipped the "Pig Ear Gelatin," can't say I'm going to try it either.

Cheng & I wondered around a good deal last night, bought quite a few things. Dirt is probably more expensive than items here. I think in 3 days I've spent $30 and have bought many a meal and houseware. I'm starting to enjoy it, but the language barrier isn't as easy to overcome the U.S/Mexico border. I talk a lot less now than I am accustomed to and rely on Cheng. I try, but it seems futile.

Started my internship today. it consisted of commencing the proofreading a 150pg. press release for the company. I made it to about page 7. Supposedly a Hong Kong PR company is their translator. There are commas, "and"s and run-ons galore. I attempt to explain this to the only English speaker in the building, probably the only one in the country, but she sees no problem in the grammar and arrangements. English is my first language, but I don't bother mentioning that point. I think I've learned that Hong Kong has British influences because everything seems fairly squirrely. I don't think I'll be learning much Chinese in my workplace.

I ate lunch in the Global Trade Center basement dining room, it was like a Chinese ant farm. I spent the duration staring at a wall and desperately searching for another white person. I sat with some employees but I understand 0 of what was said.

This email is littered with stress-induced complaints, but don't get me wrong- I am very fortunate to be here and am very grateful for the opportunity. It's out of my system now and the following emails should be of a better disposition.

I hope all is well in the States, I've been pretty out of the loop. I got asked how I like Obama today, in comparison to Bush. I didn't know the Chinese words to let on with how I really feel, so I said "he's okay."

Tomorrow I'm hoping to tag up with the Beijing Aggie Club for dinner, we'll see how that goes. Cheng's dad, Lam, will be here so hopefully he won't mind if we do so.

Until next time!

Craig